Old letters...

Today I’ve been going through old letters in hopes to downsize my amount of “stuff” as I’m moving out of my parent’s place on Thursday and into a place I’m house-sitting for 2 months. I’ve found letters from before we moved to Winkler, from high school…a whole huge stack of notes from one friend who I’ve lost touch with. Those were good times that we had together; but do I keep those letters full of inside jokes, teenage crushes, and silly memories? What good do they do me now? I’ve also found letters from the last four years of Bible college and summer camp. Notes of affirmation, exhortation, and admonishment from people I still keep in contact with and hope to for the rest of my life. But what good does it do to keep these letters? I like to look back on them every once and a while not only for the purpose of nostalgia but to be reminded of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. I am so blessed to have these letters and notes to remind me of the work of the Lord in my life. While some I will discard, there are others that I will keep for a while longer so I can look back and be reminded of simple truths, encouraged in big ways, and reminded more of how big God is.

Another thing I’ve come across is letters from people who played a very large role in my life for a very short amount of time. I don’t know where these people are now or how they are doing. Some I do know that they are not living for the Lord anymore. It’s hard to think that the people who once encouraged me so greatly in my walk with the Lord are now walking away from it all. There’s something wrong with this picture. Where is the accountability in these friendships? Is it my fault? Maybe. I feel convicted to be praying for these people. What good is it if I know they are not ok and I do nothing about it? How can I hold my head high and claim to be one who follows after the example of Christ if I do not bare with others the burdens they carry and lift them up in prayer to the One who can change hearts and take the broken pieces and put them back together again? I can’t. I pray that the names and faces of my friends past and present would be placed upon my heart often and that I would be given wisdom in how to pray for them.

Something else I have been reminded of through reading some of these letters is that some of these people, I have relied on so heavily. They have been the ones I sought out in hard times and when I did not know where else to turn. They have been supports and shelters in the storms. BUT, I have relied on many of these people like they are the only ones I could trust. I relied on them like there was no God. This is a lesson I have been learning for a very long time. Run to Him Keerst! Run to the Lord first! So easy to say, but often hard to do. I find in situations where I feel I have to talk with someone, I need to literally run somewhere to be alone with God where I can’t be distracted or see someone walking by to talk to. (Oh how human I am!) Lord please give me strength.

But let us not rely on people like we rely on air to keep us going; but let us rely on our Heavenly Father and our Maker to give us what we need when we need it.

Amen.

Can radical and common sense fit in the same space???

"Lukewarm people call 'radical' what Jesus expected of all His followers." - Francis Chan (Crazy Love)

I was reading Crazy Love out loud with my mom on our way to and from Grand Forks, ND today; which brought up some good conversation. In one of the last chapters Chan talks about how after hearing a sermon about giving more than the norm, one of the men in his church donated his house to the church and moved in with his parents saying that in Heaven he would have a better home, and that it doesn't matter where he lives now when by his gift others were able to be taken care of. Chan also shared about how his church decided to give 50% of their budget to others because they decided to take seriously the words of Christ when He said to love others as you love yourself. They decided then to spend the same amount on others that they would on themselves. I'm sure that many people looked at that and thought they were crazy.

I continued to talk with my mom about this asking where common sense fits in and if we can have common sense and live radically at the same time. When Jesus was sending out His disciples, He told them to take nothing with them, not even extra clothes or money. If this was happening today and those were my friends who Christ was calling, I'm sure the parent's on the block would have an issue with it. People would think they're weird and strange. I mean, who leaves their house without anything except the clothes on their back? Obviously today is a different time than it was then, but I wonder if the times were the same then as now, would Christ change what He asked them to do? I don't think so.

I think that often we don't take seriously the words of Christ when He says love others as ourselves. We hear and read these words, but do we stop and think what they mean and what it would look like if we truly would follow what Christ said? I have failed miserably at this. What does living and giving in a way that forces me to trust God look like? To be honest, I'm afraid to find out. I pray that I gain the guts and the trust to live like I trust that God knows what He's doing.

Combines, Rest, and Whatever...

There’s something about driving at night and seeing the field’s full of combines. Now I don’t know much about farming and the timing of everything, but it’s pretty. the other day as I was driving back to my parent’s place from dropping a friend off in Steinbach, I was blown away by how beautiful it looked with the lights of the combines and the dust in the night sky. Literally, I saw more than fifteen combines on my hour and a half drive. The pic above is from a different day, but I thought for those reading who have never seen one, there it is :P.

Other than admiring the beauty of the Harvest season, I've been trying to get a grasp on this new life of no longer being a student. For my job, it means getting different clothes cuz as of now, all my clothes were found in the free box at school or at MCC. It also means growing up in a different way. I'm starting my first real job, not that I've not worked in the past; but even in the midst of my time as a waitress, working at a day care and the many other jobs I've had in my teenage years this one is...well, real. ha.

I've been trying to rest. I've just finished four years of college, thankfully coming out of it with a bachelor's degree and some pretty satisfactory grades. I never realized until recently that it's taken a lot out of me. Who would have thunk that 4 years of cramming my brain with learning would be tiring? ha. As you can tell my articulation skills are suffering at the moment. I can't seem to make sense, let alone make sense of the things around me. In the midst of schooling, life has also been going on at an alarming pace and I'm finding that I'm only catching up with it now. I'm not sure how to do this resting thing, but I've found that all the sleeping in and having fun that I've been trying to do hasn't been working for me, but only adding to my stress. This is a scary thought as in a week or so I will be meeting the fellow staff at the school and in 2 or so weeks (give or take) I will be finally interacting with the students at MCI. The students God has been preparing me for. Scary thought, but I know that He is bigger than any of my fears and worries. If you think of me, I'd love prayer. I'm doing good, I just need to calm down and trust that the Lord knows what He's doing. I can say I trust Him, but it's the letting what I say be true also in my actions that I'm struggling with. How can I say that I trust that He's taking care of me if I'm always anxious? I can't.

This has turned out to be longer than I had originally planned, but maybe that's ok. Kinda vented a bit, and let the world know a bit of where I'm at. It's not smooth like poetry, but it's there, take it as it is.

Life is a dashing and bold adventure....

If you let it be. Since arriving back in Manitoba, I have struggled to let this be true in my life. I’m quickly being reminded that even in the monotony of life there are still many epic moments waiting to be realized and had. There are roads that have not yet been traveled, images I have not yet captured on my camera, images that are too glorious to be contained on a piece of paper, intimate moments with the Lord that happen in every moment that I could miss if I don’t keep my heart and eyes open. To sum it up, I am challenging myself to live like I’m seeing everything for the first time, treasure every moment, wonder at everything I see and experience, and in doing this to be aware of the awesome works of the Lord all around me. How can I go on living like the green on the grass in my parent’s back yard was put there by accident? How can I ignore the majestic prairie sunset, or the smell of rain before it falls? I refuse to be blind to the miracles around me. I am so thankful for God’s patience with me as I learn and re-learn lessons like this one. He is so good.

Psalm 8

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth…

....almost the 8th

Sitting on the couch wondering why my stomach and head feel the way they do, although there are many things that could account for it; like the high amount of sugar intake today and lack of pure H2O I’ve taken in.

In less than 24 hours my feet will touch Manitoba concrete and make their way into my parents Dodge Caravan. The events leading up to this experience are many beginning at my college graduation…

Mom told me about this job opening at a Christian boarding school in Southern Manitoba, not far from the town I where I was born. This led to me applying for the job, and long story short, I have acquired said job. But wait, there’s more. Two weeks after I walked across the stage of the Hildebrand Chapel to receive my hard earned degree in Christian Ministry mixed with a few other things, I flew here, to BC to work at Camp Qwanoes. Since that day, life has been full of adventure, hard work, rodents, boats, new experiences, tears, tents, permadirt, amazing friends, and a whole lot of learning from the Man upstairs.

Tomorrow morning I will say a few last “see ya laters” and make my way to the Victoria airport. Exciting? Not quite yet, but it’ll get there. There is so much to be done before work starts on September 1^st and so many adventures to be had. Not to sound cheesy, but it’s gonna be great.

It’s like leaving one life for another…or one ministry for another. Anyhow, I’d best get some sleep before the trek starts tomorrow and before I stay awake until tomorrow comes.

Firsts of Summer 2010...

- Driving a convertible

- Eating calamari

- Going to Saltspring Island

- Cracking open a muscle and taking the guts out for fish bate

- Taking a fish of the hook

- Climbing 95 feet

- Knee boarding

- Going off the blob

- Super-toter and Saturn

- Experiencing the Parksville Sandcastle Competition

- Ride in an ambulance

- IV

- Learning to skateboard

- Having a picknick in a dingy in the cemetery pond

- Camping at Mystic Beach/on the beach

-Sleeping at the Boat House

Confessions of a 21 year-old Tractor Driver:

1. I have a job! ..K not really a confession, but I'm stoked! I'll be working at MCI (a private Christian boarding school) in the fall.

2. Yesterday after a long day of driving tractor at the Skyscraper in the Challenge Course (if you want to see a pic I'm sure you could find a pic of the swing @ www.qwanoes.ca) ..I stuck around to help Amelia take down all the equipment. The last thing left to do was to drive the tractor back to the Maintenance area and park it. In our excitement, I forgot to un-attach the swing chord from the back of the tractor and hence, I pulled the chord 95 feet up the pole.

3. This morning I climbed up said pole...to the top and hooked a beaner to the chord so it could be pulled down back to the ground.

4. I think I may no longer be afraid of heights.

5. It's turned out to be a wonderful day.