That list you make in the back of your mind as you're driving to work, writing it on the back of a napkin as you're waiting at the restaurant for a friend to arrive for coffee, writing down over and over on various sticky notes and revising as you go about your day (and also getting frustrated when you loose the most recently updated one knowing that the one currently in your possession is missing numbers 11 and 12 which are very important in your quest to maintain sanity); and lastly, keeping a notebook and pen on your night desk so you can write it down as your lying in bed at night unable to sleep because you can't stop thinking about it.
"The List"
I can't get over how frustrating it has become for me to realize I can not seem to live without this list that is constantly reminding me that I have something important to do. Something that if I don't eventually get done, will cause me great distress. The constant nagging in my mind to write something down and add it to "The List" never seems to leave me. The fear that if I do not add a certain item to "The List", I will forget it and that will be the end of....well...I don't know, but it won't be good. Forgetting an item that is to be added to "The List" is a no go. DO NOT forget items to be added onto "The List". Waking up in the middle of the night and remembering something to add to "The List" and not having a pen or paper available can be the cause of much lost sleep. These are a few of the down falls of "The List".
The way you feel when you check off and item on "The List" can only be described as euphoric. The feeling when a current list is finally completed cannot even be described..but I will do my best to try... This feeling reminds you that all is right in the world once again. This feeling tells you that you can finally sleep in peace, it's like at the end of a movie or T.V. show when the super hero has gotten rid of all the villans...life is good again. You can breathe easy and have a care free afternoon with the girls and not worry about having to get anything done...that is, until you wake up the next day and you realize that the lawn needs to be mowed and you grab your yellow sticky notes and jot down a little reminder to yourself of the chore at hand...then you remember that you also need to pick up some gas for the lawn mower, and while you're in town you might as well get some groceries and make a stop at your favourite store and then at the post office to send off a letter...and before you know it you're writing this all down on your hand...but you need to write it down again before it rubbs off and you reach for the napkin at the table you are sitting at waiting for a friend to show up. And yet again.."The List" wins.
I'd better go..it's getting late and I just finished my list today...time for another ;)
