And the time has come to return.

What better way to be welcomed back to the Island than to take a walk in the rain to Victoria's own Break Water...

Boxing day...

Just a couple snap shots of Boxing Day in good 'ol Southern Manitoba and friends found there..

On our way back from Tim's and the park, we were stopped and asked if we would take a picture of a man who just got back from a motor bike ride! This is unheard of this time of the year in our area. The fact that there was no snow on the ground was somewhat miraculous. I truly did miss the snow and feel like I missed out on a big part of Christmas without it. Though the time with friends and family made up for it and then some! 

word vomit

No matter what I do or how I try to form my words, they seem to come out the wrong way. I get misunderstood. I'm sure every human can relate to this. 

"Want" or "want"?

I really struggle with money.

 I hate how it runs the world; and to some extent, my own life. I wouldn't say that I have ever "obsessed" over money (though I do appreciate it when there is a little extra kickin' around), but I have definitely stressed over not having enough to pay for school or rent or a car. Today I am dumbfounded by how easy it is to get stuck beneath the worry, guilt, stress, and weight of being in want. ...or at least feeling like you are in "want".

The Lord has blessed me to grow up in Canada in a middle class family where we have always had food on the table, clothes on our backs, and a roof over our heads. My brother and I even had the privilege of being in extra curricular sports and musical groups. Our family has even gone on family trips almost once every year. How can I consider myself in "want"?

Philippians 4:12
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

I can't remember a day where I have gone hungry because there was not enough food to go around. How can I sit here and complain? Maybe to make it more accurate..when I talk about being in "want", now that I have established that I am not living in "want" in the true sense, let us think about being in "wanting". There is a massive difference between being in "want" (I mean this as wanting something you need to survive) and "wanting" (I mean this as simply wanting something for the sake of selfish comfort). I want a car, I want a house, I want to go on vacation, I want to be debt free, I want my neighbours to be quiet by 10:30pm...and the list goes on. When I was in Africa in 2008 I saw men, women, children, babies, and grandparents in want. There were toddlers living off of one large mug of fortified porridge a day..5 days a week. Anywhere from 4-10 (or more) family members live in 10x8 foot (if that) mud brick shacks that are on land that could be taken from them any day. They eat the same little bit every day and work harder than I ever have to survive. I would not wish this on anyone. 

And yet, I have never seen such praise being offered to the Lord. Every time we drove into the slum to meet with these women, they would be singing songs to God and dancing. It was contagious! Even us uncoordinated Canadian "azoongoos!" attempted to join in. Even in the midst of not having all their basic needs met, being sick with AIDS, being orphaned, I saw so much hope and joy in these eyes. They trust that God will provide...and He has and He is and He WILL!

Seeing this, knowing this, and knowing that my God is looking after me, how dare I worry and be anxious. I am ashamed of myself for being so selfish, so blinded by material possessions and wanting what I do not need and for not changing. Lord Jesus, please help me to change and be gentle with me as You continue to mold and shape my heart.


Matthew 6:25-30 


 ²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? ²⁸And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"

"How much homework do you have?! Let's do something crazy!"

 LOVED spending time with these rad ladies down at the dock tonight Jammin' and singing.

Moon River

                                                                         Moon River, 

wider than a mile

I'm crossing you in style some day

You dream maker

You heartbreaker

Wherever you're going

I'm going your way

Two drifters off to see the world

There's such a lot of world to see

We're after the same rainbow's end

Waitin' round the bend

My Huckleberry friend

Moon River and me

Watched Breakfast At Tiffany's the other night with my roomie and fell in love with this song. I'm attempting to learn it on guitar but am having some difficulty with the new chords. 

It's been a blustery week!

I'm SO ready!

Taking once dull puddle boots and making them exciting...

Mission accomplished!

"I love the thought of you."

These words were spoken to me by my Grandma when visiting her before leaving for BC in June. The sweetest words she has ever spoken to me. They warm my heart and bring so much hope.

Rainy Day Writings...

It's days like today where I could curl up under my fleece blanket with a mug of hot apple cider and watch a good old fashioned Winnie The Pooh movie.

I woke to the sound of pouring rain outside my forest side window, got ready for the day grabbed a slice of left over soy Hawaiian pizza and hit the road to Duncan in search of Christmas gifts for my family. I left Duncan empty handed, but did find two new thrift shops I will be saying "hello" to again in the future!

Now, in attempts to "not waste time" I started filling out some paper work I have been putting off for a while, turned on my "no flame" candle I was ever so blessed to receive on my birthday this past Saturday and have the best intentions of spending some good time in the two books I've been reading lately. Though I know this room won't be my home forever, it's beginning to feel a little homely and I need that for this time. I am so very thankful for my room here in the lodge.

I think I forgot about how cold it feels here. Since last week, most days in the office have been brightened by the roaring fire close to the desk Alicia and I work at. Sometimes a smiling face comes through the door and my heart is rejuvenated through sweet conversation with the students at meals. God is good and He is here. It's crazy to think that I am back here at camp for a full 13 months. This place of changed hearts and lives, adventures and ocean life. I look up to see the mountain top glazed with snow and can't wait till it finally makes its way to the ground my feet are standing on. Having a white November would be lovely.

It's time to get back into "not waste time" mode.
Until next time...
"Keep your stick on the ice" - Red Green

Food for thought...

"If it's true that the Spirit of God dwells in us and that our bodies are the Holy Spirit's temple, then shouldn't there be a huge difference between the person who has the Spirit of God living inside of him or her and the person who does not?"

-Francis Chan in Forgotten God

Many Happy Returns of the Day!

I was greatly blessed today to share a breakfast with these dear friends at Mo:Le breakfast joint in China Town, Victoria. What a day!

"At least he was baptized first..." - J.B.

Acts 8:36-38

English Standard Version (ESV)

^"36And as they were going along the road they came to some water, and the eunuch said, "See, here is water!^(A) What prevents me from being baptized?"^[a] 38And he commanded the chariot to stop, and they both went down into the water, Philip and the eunuch, and he baptized him."

This past Sunday, I had the blessing of spending some sweet time with some old friends and a few new-ish ones too. We all went to church together in the morning, there Pastor John opened up the opportunity of baptism to everyone. One of our friends Kyle, asked God to give him a reason not to get baptized if it was not what He wanted for that time. Pastor John read the above verse. It was a done deal. What sweet timing it was for this small group of friends to meet up. 

Other favorite memories from my time in Victoria..

- Almond butter and banana's on toast

- Ultimate breakfast created with Alycia at the Dog House

- Mo:Le eggs Benni in China Town

- Finding and purchasing a red dress!

- Spending time in prayer with good friends

- Candles

- Laughing..lots.

- Dancing to Michael Jackson in the street

Photo Cred: Steve Thate

Friends Are Like Wedgies...

"Friends are  like wedgies... 

They're intimately close,

They know your inner self,

and it feels great when you pick out a good one."

You are the Skittles to my rainbow, 

The grill to my cheese,

Sometimes you hurt me,

And bring out my true self,

That's what friends are for.

To show us that life is boring without adventure,

and that it's important to let go and be crazy every once in a while;

That relying on ourselves is pointless,

 and that God created more than one person for a reason.

We have definitely been on many adventures,

and walked through our share of trials together;

I am SO thankful God blessed me with you as my sister, my bestie,

my lifer, and my friend.

Lyc, I'm stoked to celebrate with you on your wedding day! 

Blessings on you and Steve in this new journey together.

Love you like a fly loves a hot steamin' pile 'o doo!

I'm Thankful For...

Today in church, the pastor talked about the importance of saying what we are thankful for. When we don't thank God for the good things it's easy to get distracted by the crap that happens and then complaining comes much more naturally than thanksgiving. WHICH is something I have found myself falling into lately SO, here it goes...

I am thankful for...

- The smell of rain, and getting drenched in torrential downpour (like i did today!).
- Jesus.
- Driving tractors...and other things with loud motors.
- Water droplets on lilly pads.
- Snail mail from far away friends.
- Taking pictures of people laughing.
- Sitting in the company of good friends.
- Star gazing.
- Swimming in the sunshine.
- Dutch Blitz.
- Road trips and adventurous detours.
- Sandwiches and cucumbers.
- The prairie skies.
- My Oma and Opa.
- Different languages.
- Music and cheap guitars.
- Good tea.

Roast Beef for Dinner?...

It's definitely a big change moving from Manitoba to BC. Different job, different friends, different food even. I never thought I would miss working at a school where the most served meal in the cafeteria was roast beef (we found out later that one of the students was paying for part of their tuition in cattle!). Last year was a big learning year for me. It was a hard year, but a good one at that. I really do miss my co-workers and students. From good conversation, to puddle sliding in the field, to catching the students in the act of committing their grad prank, God worked in so many unique ways. It was a good year. 


This year is a new year. It will also be a good year. Everything has its ups and downs; and things take time to get used to. I've been learning some things...


1) "Waiting for my life to begin" needs to stop now. It started long ago, and that wasn't after I graduated from college...
2) I like sushi! (Especially on Saltspring Island!)
3) Sleeping under the stars gets better each time.
4) Sleeping on hard ground doesn't. 
5) Rainy days don't ruin things. (Especially when you have a wonderful green rain coat and a pair of puddle boots!)
6) Community is something that's hard to find and hard to leave behind.
7) There's something wonderful about fosferescents on a rainy night and seeing the fish light up green as they swim out from under the dock that causes my heart to skip a beat.
8) Skype is a wonderful tool that makes it possible to feel like you're practically in the same room as those you love (...and also keep up with the renos going on at home!).
9) The sound of rain out my window as I dose off to sleep NEVER gets old. 
10) Waiting for mail takes longer than watching water as I wait for it to boil.
11) Summer weather can never stay too long.
12) There's always an adventure to be had. Sometimes it just needs to be found.
13) Thrift Store and Used Book Store shopping = true love. 
14) Canoe + ATV+me = pain.
15) Watching the sun rise is epic.
16) New beginnings are hard, but in the end they're worth it. 

Is it the Soy Milk or just my stomach...

It's on the verge of getting late. My alarm clock keeps falling off the bunk-bed step I use as a bed side table. I'm homesick for the first time in my life. Sleepless. Uninspired. Anxious. Uncertain. I'm yearning for community in a place that was once so full. Unsettled. Excited. Curious. Searching for adventure and belonging. My heart aches.

What is this something that causes me to know that there is more. More to life than going through the motions? Is it faith or truth or passion, or even reality. My heart races, and skips a beat. The muscle spasm in my foot reminds me that it's time to start moving. Time to stop waiting. Time to choose? Or just keep going? Or both? Or neither. Maybe it's something else.

Maybe the thoughts in my head are there just for the sake of thought. To prove to me that I am alive. To keep me going, to keep me certain there is something there. Something that's not just me. Where to go from here? Where do I start? What does the beginning even look like? Too many questions. Time to just go. Time to do.

Something a little different...

Yesterday I started working in the office after a few days on Maintenance preparing the Lodge for our Kaleo program students to come tomorrow. ( I can't believe they're coming already!) When I was first applying to work at Qwanoes year round, the thought of sitting in the office all day typing away at the computer caused me to be nervous; but truly, it hasn't been half bad! I've actually enjoyed setting goals for myself and reaching them before the work day is done.

I'm getting excited as the Lord and I embark on yet another different year long adventure. I am looking forward to the day when I won't have to wonder about what will happen next year, but I have a feeling the Lord may keep me guessing for a while yet.

Until next time,
peace out homeskillets...

Keep Your Bible Open...

I was talking with my aunt the other day. She had recently gone to a baby shower where all the women 40 and over were to share a tidbit of wisdom from their child-raising experience. "Always keep your Bible open." is what she said. She went on to share how one of her sons is off at Bible school where they had to write about someone who has had a significant impact on their life. He called home and told his mom that he wrote about her. He told his mom that growing up he had noticed that she always kept her Bible open. My aunt said that there were many times that she would just get a chance to sit down and open her Bible, when one of her four children would be crying or someone would need help with something so she didn't always get around to reading it right away; but she always left her Bible open. Her son saw this and took note. For him it was a reassuring thing to see that his mom was in the Word and spending time with God. This impacted him so much that he would write about it in his college paper. What an example she has set for her children. What a wonderful legacy to leave for her kids. I want to be like that.

Yesterday in Church when there was a pause between songs a little girl asked her mom loudly:

"Is it done now?!"

Beauty & Adversity

“Oyster, Mr. Oyster, strange creature of the sea!

What have you to teach me? What is your lesson, please?”

“Come hither, my child,” said Oyster, “Come and sit by me,

And I will tell you the story of Beauty and Adversity.”

“For into my life God brought a stone, a sand from out of life’s sea,

It was just a little thing, as testings often can be.

Its very presence I abhorred, and said, ‘O God! Why me?’

For it irritated me so, this rock of offence to me.”

“I pleaded, I cried, I begged my God from testing to be free;

In a still small voice His quiet reply, ‘My grace it sufficient for thee.

Be patient, my child,’ He said, ‘for patient you must be

If you are to learn the lesson of Beauty and Adversity.’

“As it became part of my life, a new perspective I did see,

Something in which my sovereign God had a lesson for me,

A lesson I now pass on to you, a lesson from out of life’s sea,

A lesson etched in the sands of time of Beauty and Adversity.”

“That stone of testing remained in my life, and to it I concede

As I yielded to the will of God, a change was wrought in me.

This beautiful pearl, one of great price, this wonderful pearl you see

Once was that sand sent from God to work a wonder in me.”

“So hear, my child, and lean ye well from Oyster’s life story

That testings from our loving God are only meant to be

Things of beauty in your life for all the world to see,

Things of beauty, wrought by God, born of adversity.”

Received from the hand of the Lord!

Roberf F. McNutt

"A woman of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies..."

..."She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy..."

"...She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come..."

..."She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.."

"...'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.' Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Proverbs 31:10-30

Happy 60th Birthday Mom!

I love you.

Thanks for putting up with all my shenanigans.

Last night I dreamt...

That I was surfing the Nile behind a motor boat...I googled a picture of what the Nile looks like...from this picture it looks the same except I can't see any rushing currents or jutting rocks...

:)

Punch List:

• Do not sleep in.
• Go to MCC Thrift Shop.
• Clean house so it is spotless when the Fehr's return.
• Lunch at the tea house with friend.
• Make important phone call :)
• Try to finish at least 2 of the many books you have begun reading.
• Enjoy the sunshine!

A Place.

A place to be..

A place to bake...er burn muffins with friends..

A place to practice music..

A place to do laundry..

A place to host my mentor girls (and of course have Tim Tam Slams).

These are just a few memories from the first place I was blessed to house-sit. I am reminded over and over how the Lord has provided for me. I have no need to doubt Him. Ever. Yet, I still do. Lord, please help me to trust You.

Be Creative..

Every once in a while, I like to take some time to create something. This was something I did back in summer. I found the poem in an old Brio magazine.

Punch List:

• Tie die something, preferably something white.
• Create the best ever resume known to man; that by even glancing in its direction an immediate call back and job offer will follow.
• Know what I want to do when I grow up...a girl can dream can't she?
• Learn to use mom's wonderful camera and take some stunning photo's.
• Write a book? (about what? any ideas? I could use a few comments on this blog.)
• Purge my closet...you can never get rid of enough stuff.
• Create my own recipe (must use garam masala in said recipe).
• Use all food on shelf before purchasing more food for the shelf...(unless of course you run out of apples..one cannot live without 'em).
• Finish reading at least one of the 7 (and counting) books started.
• Plant own herb garden (this may have to wait for a bit).
• Stop watching T.V. when bored. Instead go for a walk, work on that recipe, book, tie-dieing just DON'T watch T.V.
• Plan a trip somewhere wonderful.
• Go on said trip.
• Finish punch list.

Time to take a break.

Yesterday was the first day of my 3.5 day weekend. Yay! Having even 2 days off in a row is a rare blessing.

I celebrated by cooking up one of my favourite dishes:

Coconut curry with peanut sauce.

Mmm.. It was wonderful.

Rejoice, Be Patient, Be Constant...

This is what I titled my update last Christmas. So much has happened since then. Confrontation, Graduation, Advance Crew and summer at Qwanoes, two concussions (one of which I'm still healing from), starting my job at MCI and surviving the first semester here. It hasn't been easy, but I'm learning what it means to cling to Christ. I'm also learning how what I want and what I need are two completely different things; and that often what I want is not what is best for me and sometimes something I should literally RUN from. I have come to realize that I tend to be one selfish human who doesn't always think far ahead when making decisions, partly because I'm afraid of making the wrong choice and because I'm human. I find that I am often disappointed in the selfish decisions I make realizing after the fact that I could have turned the other way and instead make the "right" choice.

A friend once told me the story of a man named Smith Wigglesworth.

One evening he woke up, and Satan himself was at the foot of his bed. Smith remarked "Oh, it's you!" And he laughed and rolled over, falling back to sleep.

This story caused me to think of how the Devil tempts us and does his best to lead us astray. Wether it be in the things we do, think, or anything really. Often for me it's deciding to read my Bible instead of turning on the television, or even what to eat. Garbage in garbage out...or like one of my College professors, Carl Hinderager always said:

"What goes down in the well comes up in the bucket."

What a simple truth this is, but I've been realizing that it takes a lot more than a one time decision to change old habits.

During the time I spent at Briercrest College as a student, every Sunday after church, there was a sort of small group I was a part of called "House Church". The house where this took place was on the complete opposite end of town, it literally couldn't have been any further away from the church building than it was (not that it takes more than 10mins to walk anywhere in Caronport). Now, there were two paths one could take on the way to House Church. One way was staying on the street, which took a bit longer, but there was more shelter from the wind because of the other buildings on the street of this Prairie town. The other way which did cut a few minutes off our time of arrival (though we were never really in a great rush), was to cut across the field and walk past the house on the corner. The first time my fellow House Church goer's and I did this there was no problem until we heard rather vicious sounding barks, and saw a large Rottweiler running at full tilt towards us. We soon learned that this animal was called Max (or something to that likeness). Thankfully, before Max could reach us there was a squeal followed by more barking, but the dog was no longer running toward us due to the chain that was securely (or so we hoped) attached to his collar. After that run-in, it was only on occasion that we took path number two.

If I want to live my life serving God and following the teachings of Jesus Christ, then I'd better live it out. It's one thing for me to say it, but what I say means nothing until I actually live it out. The brutal reality of this fact is...well, brutal. They say the the truth hurts; and it can if we are not living in it. I'm learning that I must set aside my wants and perceived needs, my lists, fears, anxieties, wonderings, and everything that holds me back (like the chain that held Max back from us on our way to House Church) and just LIVE. I do realize that these are REALLY big words for little 'ol me, and that's why I'm not saying that this is what I'm doing, but what I'm learning. I pray that I will be able to look back on this post and say that this is when I truly did start living and stopped being held back by the world any longer. I guess this is where patience and being constant comes in. When I have no idea what's going on with my life and what is to come; and also as I choose Who I am going to live my life for (me or God). I've realized that is a choice I need to make everyday. In my last year at Briercrest, there were a few months where it was all I could do to simply wake up in the morning, do my best to put myself together and walk to class. Those mornings before I opened my eyes, and before my feet hit the floor I said:

"Lord, please help me to get out of bed today. Help me to love You with my life."

It was incredible how, even in the hard things, I could see God in those days. How I felt compelled to talk with Him about everything and have Him be the last one I talked to at night and the first one I talked to in the morning. Being constant in prayer is what holds me together. Even when it seems like the world is falling apart, His reassurance keeps me going.

I am learning to rejoice in the little things, like the Northern Lights on the way home from a long night at work, or a text from a friend letting me know that they're thinking of me. Trusting that God knows what He is doing when I feel so lost and alone in the world gives me hope and a reason to rejoice.

Romans 12:12 "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

I just wanted to say...

and yes. it's that bad!