Down memory lane....

I was going through some of the things I had written years ago. This is one of em'. It may not flow that well, but some of the words still resound with my heart.

I don't know how to explain to you how I feel.

It's like someone dropped a rock on my head.

I know I should, but I can't go to bed.

I can't stop thinking about all the 'what ifs',

the 'maybes' and the 'could happens'.

I don't know what to say,

I just wish it would all go away.

I don't want to have to think about it anymore.

Please Lord, just take it all away!

All of it!

All of the crap in my life and in the lives of the

ones I love.

Why do we constantly have to find ways to

deal with the hard stuff that happens?

I know that life will never be perfect and

crap happens,

But why does it have to happen so often?

Why does it have to happen at all?

Why does it happen to my friends?

I know I'll never know all the answers,

And that life's just not fair.

But I can't help but ask "why?"

When You say that You care.

You said You'd never leave me,

And that You'd never go away,

You promised to take care of us,

No matter where we stay.

There are times I wonder,

Where my Saviour's gone?

You made so many promises,

But have You kept just one?

I know the right answer's "yes."

But when things don't go my way,

I make up stories and ignore the truth

And in my ignorance, find ways to be mad

at You.

I start to act half my age,

Just like a little kid.

Saying "See here!" and "Look what you did!"

I pout and shout, and throw temper tantrums too.

"Anything..." I say, "to get through to You."

I continue this charade, till I think You've

had enough.

I ignore You and push You aside; saying:

"You wouldn't have cared if it were I who would

have died."

But where have You gone?!!

I treat You like a politician

Not trusting what You say

And when You finally speak to me,

I turn my face away.

"Where have You gone?" I ask...

Just where I put You;

Back on my shelf,

'Til I think I have time for You.

How do You put up with me?

I do not know.

But when I feel Your arms around me

You let me know,

That I am Your child

And no matter how bratty I am

And how much I try to ignore You,

You will NEVER leave me.

Thank-You Abba